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jesse91

Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 4:07am) | Search for a member

jesse91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5864
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>rybaby23</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:44pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:52am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm

jesse91's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

#21024776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (8284)

On 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by -_-" (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46014) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (4448)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46412) - you deserved it (8729)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49243) - you deserved it (7602)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57751) - you deserved it (6971)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45930) - you deserved it (9140)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

#21017924
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45876) - you deserved it (3543)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

#21017461
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54464) - you deserved it (4083)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:11am - love - by Fiancé problemsss - United States (Montana)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46822) - you deserved it (12686)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (4747)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60969) - you deserved it (6506)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (16463)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (4103)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46201) - you deserved it (20933)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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