About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, movies, comics and history.
I'm a big fan of Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.
Get out of my swamp you kids!
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Today, a co-worker gave me a couple of CDs he said he wanted me to listen to. I got excited, thinking that they were playlists he'd made for me. They were self-help tracks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12046) - you deserved it (1266)
On 10/06/2012 at 1:09pm - work - by The Last Cockbender (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (1296)
On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (3094)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8167) - you deserved it (13012)
On 10/06/2012 at 4:58am - misc - by Valentine_Beauty (woman) - United States
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10752) - you deserved it (2024)
On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21390) - you deserved it (3305)
On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20724) - you deserved it (2400)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12068) - you deserved it (224)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by what the fuck, mate (man) - Australia
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7038) - you deserved it (16901)
On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (2084)
On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9370) - you deserved it (15953)
On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17451) - you deserved it (1361)
On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17843) - you deserved it (1289)
On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5170) - you deserved it (14278)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by oohrahgal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19737) - you deserved it (3400)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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