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jesse91

Offline (the 07/30/2014 at 11:44am) | Search for a member

jesse91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3872
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:42am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:21pm<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 1:59pm

jesse91's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39342) - you deserved it (3484)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

#21222298
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (6503)

On 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm - love - by notgoth (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47438) - you deserved it (5560)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40116) - you deserved it (2951)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (4283)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35609) - you deserved it (4403)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40747) - you deserved it (7784)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43249) - you deserved it (3388)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51329) - you deserved it (8061)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49428) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37898) - you deserved it (23976)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47299) - you deserved it (3487)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43802) - you deserved it (6008)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50878) - you deserved it (9531)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64324) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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