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About jesse91 : Hello there!
Get out of my swamp you kids!
Socialite
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Beginner
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6361) - you deserved it (1454)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9411) - you deserved it (872)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10342) - you deserved it (1102) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11992) - you deserved it (722)
On 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by Turnipseed3 - United States
Today, I was to have an important phone interview for a job. I got a call and everything went perfectly, and they said I was hired. Later, I found out that one of my "friends" had gotten one of his buddies to prank call me and make sure the line was engaged when the real interviewer called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9860) - you deserved it (524)
On 05/02/2012 at 5:58pm - work - by panther of the desert (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3582) - you deserved it (12382) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8868) - you deserved it (609)
On 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by HighasaCloud (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6157) - you deserved it (674)
On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11765) - you deserved it (784)
On 04/28/2012 at 2:52am - health - by mark807 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11943) - you deserved it (898)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "F*ck you, f*cking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4372) - you deserved it (8012)
On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
I agree, your life sucks (10260) - you deserved it (645)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (756)
On 04/17/2012 at 10:54am - love - by unloved (woman) - United States
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (1699)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11874) - you deserved it (1305)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
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