Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jeremypayson

Search for a member

jeremypayson

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 November 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 73
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jeremypayson's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of jeremypayson's badges

jeremypayson's favorite FMLs

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23382) - you deserved it (5176)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9833) - you deserved it (59868)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (9151)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (4267)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22347) - you deserved it (3986)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: