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jeremiahisgreat

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jeremiahisgreat

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  • Number of visits : 42
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jeremiahisgreat's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

#20024799
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6966) - you deserved it (40521)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (7394)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML

#20023891
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9102) - you deserved it (19800)

On 08/16/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (1505)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (7869)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (2881)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (1532)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (6743)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (16382)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

#20012106
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8588) - you deserved it (25421)

On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

#20011729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (3217)

On 08/09/2012 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by Badkitty14 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6428) - you deserved it (46727)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (5923)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (2794)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (3991)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)



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