About jenn_jenn201 : California born and raised, now I'm in Idaho, umm I'm part libtard and part republitard ;) . I love rock music, going on long drives and exploring new places, the paranormal/mephysical and almost everything that those words entale, star gazing, taking (nude) pictures and posing people (my husband). I love that pitch black spot near vegas where the whole world doesn't matter because your the only there and you literally feel like you are dancing among the stars because they look so huge, bright and calming and I feel like I'm Home Again, my real home!
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Judgmental
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Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (2420)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (4555) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2013 at 2:58am - misc - by grossesfesses (woman) - France (Picardie)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44616) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (4128)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30025) - you deserved it (9631)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40025) - you deserved it (1875)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37537) - you deserved it (7374)
On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (19914)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized that the only positive accomplishment my boyfriend has made in the last 3 years is that he started wearing deodorant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18790) - you deserved it (5165)
On 02/27/2013 at 10:28pm - love - by butterflyzag20 - United States
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (1269)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21894) - you deserved it (968)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (21502)
On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (1973)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6868) - you deserved it (14559)
On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (3032)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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