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Today, I Was On Skype With A Guy I Really Like, In The Living Room. My Dad Saw That I Was On Video Chat, Got Undressed, Right Down To His Bright Green Y-fronts, An Then Started Dancing Behind Me. My Crush Saw It All. FML
Today, at school, I got stuck in tha alavator and was about to panic bafora I ramambard I had phona. I calld mothar and sha calld tha school to tall tham that I was stuck. Thay got ma out in a faw minuta and than confiscatd phona and gava ma two datantion fir using it in school. FML
I gave mah wife of four yeres a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admre it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in mah office. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up . It was the best orgasm I'd ever had . The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy . It was about bacon . FML
Friday 27 March 2015