jelsew

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jelsew

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1390
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jelsew's page activity

Visits<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:14pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 2:14pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:35am<b>jakeJIGSAW</b> - the 08/02/2010 at 7:31pm<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 07/31/2010 at 4:50am<b>stillxsearching</b> - the 07/18/2010 at 10:53pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 07/17/2010 at 7:03am<b>HeyLookOverThere</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 11:17pm<b>brooke_chook</b> - the 05/01/2010 at 8:47pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 4:31pm<b>judetheobvious</b> - the 02/11/2010 at 3:11pm<b>as260191</b> - the 02/02/2010 at 7:54pm<b>eATT</b> - the 01/23/2010 at 1:28am<b>ha</b> - the 01/12/2010 at 10:49pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/19/2009 at 10:17pm<b>Othello22</b> - the 12/17/2009 at 12:04am<b>lickmyjock</b> - the 12/15/2009 at 4:06am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 9:53pm

jelsew's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jelsew's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

by charliesangel123 / 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

by Goobie / 01/15/2010 at 2:24am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

by Brittanyy_leigh / 12/17/2009 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

by exchange / 12/17/2009 at 12:00am / Ireland (Limerick) / Money

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

by Anon / 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

by unsuspcted / 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

by joeheathen / 11/13/2009 at 7:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

by julie / 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

by Starchyld / 11/11/2009 at 7:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML

by sunlightchild_14 / 09/13/2009 at 3:04am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy