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jehc922

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jehc922

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 131
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Consolation prize

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jehc922's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (22603)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (4394)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (7512)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11650) - you deserved it (32532)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (49354)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39058) - you deserved it (4206)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (4179)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10352) - you deserved it (93923)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

#16933111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (4076)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:12am - love - by single (man) - China (Guangdong)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49825) - you deserved it (5268)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51093) - you deserved it (4568)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21145) - you deserved it (47428)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (6823)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (4900)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43571) - you deserved it (3676)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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