Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jcrb

Search for a member

jcrb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 482
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jcrb's page activity

Visits<b>blahblah5743794</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:12pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:20pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:51am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:27am<b>camsaltysquares</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:57pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Jacobman0313</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Zestus</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:09pm<b>99volleyball99</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:37pm<b>badluckguy278</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:14am<b>Gusguseh</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:23am<b>xTwister</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:44pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 7:13pm<b>Kaiserdom</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 7:34am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 4:47am<b>Naleldan</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 9:27pm<b>stj5249</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:53am

jcrb's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of jcrb's badges

jcrb's favorite FMLs

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (6882)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52958) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43227) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40554) - you deserved it (4731)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63498) - you deserved it (8095)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59183) - you deserved it (5416)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44464) - you deserved it (19047)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47902) - you deserved it (23043)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56824) - you deserved it (7981)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54974) - you deserved it (64085)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51064) - you deserved it (4433)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60432) - you deserved it (9127)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61624) - you deserved it (4978)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (41651)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: