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jchiledred's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
jchiledred's favorite FMLs
by fucked up dad / 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by Gracie-Ann / 07/01/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
by SariLone / 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm / India (Maharashtra) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by disappointed dad / 05/19/2013 at 3:35am / United States / Kids
by SteroidPenguin / 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…