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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57768) - you deserved it (3129)
On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (3135)
On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (25084)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62506) - you deserved it (6322)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7723) - you deserved it (21678)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5409) - you deserved it (15555)
On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (5002)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (3991)
On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28655) - you deserved it (9004)
On 05/07/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by lawl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7828) - you deserved it (41709)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45396) - you deserved it (3025)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you deserved it (16956)
On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States
Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5237) - you deserved it (23140)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18694) - you deserved it (3823)
On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (2184)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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