About jbird1193 : I wanna know who follows me around and puts my whole life on this site. Anyway, message me. I dare you.
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jbird1193's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
by Timv86 / 02/16/2010 at 3:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
by Becca / 01/31/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML
by sassman / 12/01/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by destiny147 / 11/30/2009 at 7:17am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Love
Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML
by cachow / 09/06/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I… Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted… Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when…