About jbird1193 : I wanna know who follows me around and puts my whole life on this site. Anyway, message me. I dare you.
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jbird1193's favorite FMLs
by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML
by andimanastudent / 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML
by CollegeBoy / 04/13/2011 at 9:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by JT / 04/12/2011 at 10:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
by BrokeAndPsst / 04/12/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML
by bananaman / 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
by stolen / 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by blower / 04/11/2011 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love
Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML
by Imslow / 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/04/2011 at 2:15am / Mozambique (Maputo) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…