About jbird1193 : I wanna know who follows me around and puts my whole life on this site. Anyway, message me. I dare you.
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jbird1193's favorite FMLs
by alissa_roar / 04/18/2011 at 1:54pm / United States / Love
Today, I got a call from a girl I was seeing. She said that she was falling for someone else, but she still liked me and couldn't decide what to do. Being the romantic (idiot) I am, I told her that she should do what would make her happiest, thinking that she would pick me. She didn't. FML
by HFCS / 04/18/2011 at 12:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by bumpyroad / 04/17/2011 at 10:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
by overflowing / 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Username / 04/16/2011 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
by madi / 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
by spiderwoman / 04/15/2011 at 7:47am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Animals
by ZaraAce / 04/15/2011 at 7:38am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/15/2011 at 2:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 1:49am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2011 at 9:06pm / United Kingdom / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…