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jazzminemoody's favorite FMLs
by iFail / 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML
by nicegirl08 / 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that me and the wife have visited. Which is OK I suppose (providing we never see each other there) but he told me his parents go there too. FML
by Disturbed / 12/30/2008 at 3:27pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy