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jaysvn

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jaysvn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 265
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jaysvn's page activity

Visits<b>PichiJG</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 1:46pm<b>zrc01</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 6:28pm<b>kittycute1127</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 3:10pm<b>thatantdidit</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:51pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:48pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 3:13am<b>jarrettd</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 2:46pm

jaysvn's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

jaysvn's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (5801)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48793) - you deserved it (6596)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38824) - you deserved it (8198)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66605) - you deserved it (4054)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47530) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47530) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47530) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49423) - you deserved it (10662)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46465) - you deserved it (3476)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML

#20843134
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (2730)

On 08/18/2013 at 1:29pm - work - by ssssssssuck a dick, boss (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (4691)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with my family. A huge wave came up and knocked me over. When we got to the van, I realized that the keys that had been in my pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, and money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40289) - you deserved it (6176)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40479) - you deserved it (3295)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50091) - you deserved it (4437)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France



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