Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jaysvn

Search for a member

jaysvn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 457
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jaysvn's page activity

Visits<b>PichiJG</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 1:46pm<b>zrc01</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 6:28pm<b>kittycute1127</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 3:10pm<b>thatantdidit</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:51pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:48pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 3:13am<b>jarrettd</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 2:46pm

jaysvn's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

jaysvn's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my car to be repared. The mechanic putted out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. real FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34331) - you deserved it (5923)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND YELLD FROM UPSTAIRS, "BABE! BABE, COME QUICK!" TERRIFID THAT SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE HAPPEND TO OUR NEWBORN DAUGHTER, I RUSHD UP, ONLY TO FIND OUT HE JUST WANTD TO SHOW ME THAT HE'D LEREND HOW TO SPIN A TOP ON THE TIP OF HIS PENIS WITHOUT IT FALLING . FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50433) - you deserved it (6808)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed mah stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with mah pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. big fat FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38998) - you deserved it (8221)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today... I Broke Up Wit Ma Abusive Grlfriend. Se Respondd By Breaking Into Ma Place An Stabbing Ma Amster Wit A Fork. FML

#20898181
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67124) - you deserved it (4075)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today... my boyfriend got out of the shower an trid to hit my forehead with his penis. He slippd an slappd me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47960) - you deserved it (8952)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today... my boyfriend got out of the shower an trid to hit my forehead with his penis. He slippd an slappd me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47960) - you deserved it (8952)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today... my boyfriend got out of the shower an trid to hit my forehead with his penis. He slippd an slappd me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47960) - you deserved it (8952)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today... my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said wit a smrk... "A little clotes-mindd... r we?" looool He slappd me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (11130)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lerend that the girl I've been seeing for 6 month is actually marrid . She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off . FML

#20857254
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46710) - you deserved it (3489)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, mah mom visitad mah naw apartmant fir tha first tima. I was showing har tha badroom, whan sha lookad into mah opanad sock drawar and said, "Using Durax, ah? Yaah, you wara born 'causa a Trojan split." maga FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41212) - you deserved it (4255)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, Ma Manager Took Me Aside And Angrily Told Me To Quit Fucking About Wit Our Customers. He Totally Refuses To Believe Tat Te Sligt Wistling Sound I Keep Making Wen I Exale Is Because I Ave A Cipped Toot. FML

#20843134
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/18/2013 at 1:29pm - work - by ssssssssuck a dick, boss (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I Forgot Key Inside Apartment. My Boyfriend Suggested We Ask A Neighbor To Open It. I Explained We Don't All Have The Same Key, To Which He Responded, "Well How Come They All Have The Same Doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42170) - you deserved it (4711)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with family. A huge wave came up an knockd me over. When we got to the van, I realizd that the keys that had been in pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, an money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41890) - you deserved it (6407)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , I found the carcass of the frog that got into mah house last week. It was a horrifying sight , but not nerely as horrifying as the fact that I found it in mah refrigerator. No , I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42191) - you deserved it (3440)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Yesterday, I askd out a guy at work that I really like!! He just stard at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet!! No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51929) - you deserved it (4595)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: