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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jayjaylol

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jayjaylol
  • Town/Country : San jose, United states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 183
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jayjaylol's favorite FMLs

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

#8948119 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (1388)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by dargas - United States (California)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (1403)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (11879)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

#1818781 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (4163)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (13100) - you deserved it (44504)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (52594) - you deserved it (7828)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

#859604 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (54966) - you deserved it (134467)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (79101) - you deserved it (10892)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (41992) - you deserved it (8107)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (4711)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)