Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jayfx

Search for a member

jayfx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 47066
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jayfx's page activity

Visits<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:51am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:43pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:27am<b>taku05</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:21am<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:03pm<b>niome</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:35am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:31pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:24pm<b>Andicc</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:40pm<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:33pm<b>buzz127</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 2:55am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 1:37am<b>enphinitie</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:47am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:19pm<b>shaar</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:59am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 6:18pm<b>fmylifeuggh</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 12:48am

jayfx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jayfx's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17692) - you deserved it (64285)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85951) - you deserved it (18740)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53137) - you deserved it (11981)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (658080) - you deserved it (442241)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53263) - you deserved it (28039)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52340) - you deserved it (98126)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

#242337
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61693) - you deserved it (18051)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (478265) - you deserved it (45934)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

#214714
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85104) - you deserved it (8915)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by saltinawound (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72751) - you deserved it (15777)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: