jayfx

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jayfx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 47553
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jayfx's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 8:09am<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 12:36pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:10am<b>stellaneptune</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:29am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:00am<b>edenxero</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 12:54am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 6:35pm<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:48pm<b>carbonbasedcynic</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 6:26pm<b>teamkakashi</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:52pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:37am<b>Varieus</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:34am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:23am<b>MissyPastaCreeps</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:35pm<b>swaftmasterj627</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 11:21pm<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:07pm

Fucked!<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:00am

jayfx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jayfx's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

by khood / 04/14/2009 at 1:10am / United States / Love

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

by caughtontape / 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

by nick / 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

by squirty_joe / 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Work

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

by saltinawound / 03/05/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

by katzperiod / 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

by ohmygoodness / 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love