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jasonmar

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jasonmar

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 680
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jasonmar : Hi my names jason. I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah but am currently living in Shanghai, China. FML keeps me sane on those rough China days!

jasonmar's page activity

Visits<b>CrazyLaughs4Me</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:04pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Wonder_Woman257</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 11:23am<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:38pm<b>thisawkwardchick</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:07pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:00am<b>Bubule</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:56am<b>RockNRollAndrew</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:20pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 3:44pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:33pm<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 9:31pm<b>13taylorswift</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:18pm<b>windell</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 1:50am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 3:14pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 11:11am<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:56am<b>macorncob</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 9:04am

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jasonmar's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (7621)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

#14608701
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (5660) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

#14445248
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (3123)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98690) - you deserved it (5402)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (4043)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (33487)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (6848)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (20882)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (9633)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44381) - you deserved it (24456)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25598) - you deserved it (5485)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)



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