japtch

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japtch

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1761
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About japtch : Hey, I'm Simon. I guess I've been on FML for awhile now, so it's about time I do an "About Me."

I'm going to college to build computers. Technology is my life. Gaming, social networking, youtubing, and a little hacking are a few things I enjoy.

ALSO, I hate it when you can't spell. So..
your*
you're*
their*
there*
they're*
definitely*

If you wanna know something else, message me? I don't get on the website that often, but when I do, I'll reply.

Kbye.

japtch's page activity

Visits<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 3:59pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:22am<b>itchmcrotch</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:58pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:02am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:14pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:53am<b>manlove38</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 3:16pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:00pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:34am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Jujuboo_3</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:46am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>Ohotsk</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:08pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:04am<b>Monster27</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 5:28pm<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:27am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:41am<b>manlove38</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:02pm

japtch's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of japtch's badges

japtch's favorite FMLs

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2012 at 11:25pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

by Girl With a Cold / 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm / Work

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

by rattrap / 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

by idrathernotgiveoutmyname / 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

by JMcKay / 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, as I was driving in reverse, I hit my boyfriend's mom's car. I met her for the first time while giving her my information. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 2:22pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

by kaipodable / 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

by drummahboi99 / 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous