Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

japtch

Search for a member

japtch

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1118
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About japtch : Hey, I'm Simon. I guess I've been on FML for awhile now, so it's about time I do an "About Me."

I'm going to college to build computers. Technology is my life. Gaming, social networking, youtubing, and a little hacking are a few things I enjoy.

ALSO, I hate it when you can't spell. So..
your*
you're*
their*
there*
they're*
definitely*

If you wanna know something else, message me? I don't get on the website that often, but when I do, I'll reply.

Kbye.

japtch's page activity

Visits<b>manlove38</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:01am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Jujuboo_3</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:46am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>Ohotsk</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:08pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:04am<b>Monster27</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 5:28pm<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:27am<b>Liyuesigs</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:20pm<b>stonage81</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 11:53pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:55am<b>Tpracingkg</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:42am<b>acetl87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 12:37am<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 04/21/2012 at 4:12pm<b>daniellaluv</b> - the 03/24/2012 at 8:07pm<b>perdix</b> - the 02/19/2012 at 4:09am<b>digitaleurydice</b> - the 02/06/2012 at 7:13am

Liked!<b>manlove38</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:02pm

japtch's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of japtch's badges

japtch's favorite FMLs

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

#19052794
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (31218)

On 02/11/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22786) - you deserved it (2135)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30912) - you deserved it (3515)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (8005)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

#18911929
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (5497)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41239) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (39235)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, as I was driving in reverse, I hit my boyfriend's mom's car. I met her for the first time while giving her my information. FML

#18697132
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (7043)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

#18573641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (3923)

On 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm - animals - by kaipodable - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48646) - you deserved it (7735)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (5143)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (41285)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

#18421974
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (4738)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

#18279508
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32404) - you deserved it (2183)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: