Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About japtch : Hey, I'm Simon. I guess I've been on FML for awhile now, so it's about time I do an "About Me."
I'm going to college to build computers. Technology is my life. Gaming, social networking, youtubing, and a little hacking are a few things I enjoy.
ALSO, I hate it when you can't spell. So..
If you wanna know something else, message me? I don't get on the website that often, but when I do, I'll reply.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Friday 12 February 2016