About jam26 : FML isn't what it used to be. :(
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (6876)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56217) - you deserved it (20774)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44050) - you deserved it (9599)
On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57564) - you deserved it (5356)
On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40054) - you deserved it (11662)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45857) - you deserved it (81882)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462317) - you deserved it (574272)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353962) - you deserved it (66719)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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