Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jakeisawake

Search for a member

jakeisawake

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 December 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1582
  • Number of comments : 294
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jakeisawake : Jake.6'5", mostly italian and then white. Don't take me seriously. I'm most likely joking. I have a twisted sense of humor at times .Definite Braves fan. The Used is one of the greatest bands along with Chiodos, A Day to Remember, and Drop Dead Gorgeous. Oh, and A Love Like Pi. I am a gerontophobic. I love sushi. Music fanatic; I sing when I get ready in the morning. in the shower, brushing teeth, all that stuff. I sleep alot. Godddd i love sleep. I'm waiting for a zombie apocalypse. I watch all the films enough to know how to survive. I watch more movies than most, and I like "out there" films. Favorite director is M. Night Shyamalan.

jakeisawake's page activity

Visits<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:18pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:13pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:48pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:50pm<b>sexaybitch</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:36am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:02pm<b>rs31831</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 9:07am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:51pm<b>blueyes909</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:14am<b>IloveToLaugh143</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:06am<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 8:51pm<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:19pm<b>AnnDarnell</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:54pm<b>maxsing</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:48am<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:49am<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:57pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:54pm

jakeisawake's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

jakeisawake's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (58940)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55903) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (5280)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML

#13491262
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (43902)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:39pm - love - by jfranklin - United States

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

#13221173
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (3894)

On 09/27/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by cinderella (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70045) - you deserved it (8165)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (90557)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82063) - you deserved it (217670)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71614) - you deserved it (28145)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1136411) - you deserved it (114919)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: