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jaffas

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jaffas
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 38
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Consolation prize

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jaffas's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (4807)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28361) - you deserved it (4241)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (3298)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8738) - you deserved it (68014)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (2001)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7347) - you deserved it (68947)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

#18460733
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (25554)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm - misc - by picklemonger - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29318) - you deserved it (4274)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (1969)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (39020)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26088) - you deserved it (9586)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33158) - you deserved it (4631)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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