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jaff23

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jaff23

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1481
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jaff23 : Hey! I have no idea how to sum myself up in this little box so I won't try! If you want to talk then feel free to message me :) I love meeting new people! Don't be mad if I take ages to reply- I'm almost always on my phone!

jaff23's page activity

Visits<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:17am<b>writingkarma</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:22am<b>the_glitcher</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 9:46am<b>hogman500</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 1:03am<b>ajax_united</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 3:00pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:32pm<b>claytwin</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 11:39pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 3:40pm<b>arnav12</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 9:55am<b>thestig</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 4:21am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:36am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 12:35am<b>destroyu</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 11:00pm<b>Mrnice</b> - the 08/15/2012 at 8:27am<b>deransc</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 12:47pm<b>MangaManiacNat</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 7:15pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 04/29/2012 at 7:02pm

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jaff23's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79539) - you deserved it (4085)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50509) - you deserved it (10850)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34961) - you deserved it (7999)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

#20579736
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30805) - you deserved it (2092)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38487) - you deserved it (6674)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41760) - you deserved it (15687)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (5878)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35562) - you deserved it (4002)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12424) - you deserved it (52778)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11397) - you deserved it (55706)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (9363)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41108) - you deserved it (7189)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40244) - you deserved it (13542)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (6154)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6985) - you deserved it (46626)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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