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jadeluv

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jadeluv

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2838
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jadeluv : If u'd like to know about me feel free to message me. I'm all for talking to new people.

jadeluv's page activity

Visits<b>mete_orito</b> - 18 hours ago<b>UltimateTanMan</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:03pm<b>karmasbatman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:05am<b>CJMDucks</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:17pm<b>pokerpoker</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:38pm<b>foaming</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:02am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:53pm<b>Fappy69</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:25pm<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:19am<b>Portuguese94</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 9:06am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:30pm<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:45am<b>mexeuphemism</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:09am<b>MissFeats</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:26am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:20pm<b>ctck</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 9:17pm<b>gabbybella</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 2:57pm

jadeluv's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of jadeluv's badges

jadeluv's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51798) - you deserved it (10469)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (6825)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22138) - you deserved it (56366)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (8518)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (31711)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31496) - you deserved it (47581)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47052) - you deserved it (17065)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48108) - you deserved it (9502)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51934) - you deserved it (18452)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58338) - you deserved it (11373)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47311) - you deserved it (20881)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (7176)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (5217)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (3281)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)



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