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jadeluv

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jadeluv
  • Town/Country : where do you think, texas
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1769
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jadeluv : If u'd like to know about me feel free to message me. I'm all for talking to new people.

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jadeluv's favorite FMLs

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (55009)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (7880)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you deserved it (30204)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (45277)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45027) - you deserved it (15887)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (7554)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46559) - you deserved it (15542)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52419) - you deserved it (9399)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (18784)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (6853)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (5049)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (9498)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (7824)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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