About jaded_seattle : I don't speak Taco bell menu.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (3042)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:41am - love - by kirrby - United States (Nevada)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33251) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (5502)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (2333)
Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (19857)
On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States
Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17977) - you deserved it (3901)
On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34107) - you deserved it (2553)
On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States
Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9618) - you deserved it (33484)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by ...loud noises...urgh... (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (3067)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)
Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33966) - you deserved it (4656)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:01pm - love - by brie - United States (California)
Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (2101)
On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (2022)
On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (9509)
On 11/02/2011 at 9:50am - love - by S. Bauer (woman) - Portugal
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24417) - you deserved it (10607)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by ugadawgs09 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (10765)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
