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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (21159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9271) - you deserved it (64123)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (21160)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (3324)
On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11296) - you deserved it (41490)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (5380)
On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6417) - you deserved it (22195)
On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (19863)
On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finally filed the divorce papers I was putting off for weeks. This is my third divorce. After my first husband cheated on me, and my second husband and I learned we had VERY different views, now my third husband is cheating on me with his fiancée. I'm a marriage counselor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (7564)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by akward411 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (1661)
On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (61160)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (5395)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49127) - you deserved it (2249)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (6083)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (36942)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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