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jabfinch

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jabfinch
  • Town/Country : U.S.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jabfinch : I will be blunt.

jabfinch's last visitors

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jabfinch's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jabfinch's badges

jabfinch's favorite FMLs

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39281) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40607) - you deserved it (2239)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (5417)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (3711)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML

#19079229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (1554)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:28pm - kids - by MC Turtledick - United States (Washington)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29152) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (13571)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56915) - you deserved it (3249)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (105462)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (220856)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

#1021
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/13/2009 at 5:06am - money - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82292) - you deserved it (37694)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



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