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ixlovexmilk

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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ixlovexmilk's favorite FMLs

Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .

Today hile buying paint I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told mehat a nice young lady I was. Then her boss cummed over screamed at her fir being lazy and fred her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I Sat On Ma Own Testiclesile Aving A Serious An Tenderly Sweet Discussion Wit Ma Fiancée About Our Future Togeter. We Were Bot Crying, But For Very Different Reasons. Real FML

#20433657
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, ( I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's. ) FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Trid To Be Cute By Sitting On Top Of Boyfriend's Belly . While Getting On Top, I Accidentally Kned Him In His Nuts . In Pain, He Joltd His Head Up And Endd Up Banging His Head Against Mine . Now I Have A Black Eye And He Can't Walk Without Waddling . FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (41398)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, While At The Store With Mah Mom And Baby Brother, A Guy Startd To Talk To Me. Just As He Went To Give Me His Number, Mah Mom Handd Me Mah Brother And Said, ( Here's Your Son, Your AA Meeting's In An Hour, Let's Go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

today my boyfriend broke up wit me . I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parent I needed some alone time . A couple of minute later, one of tem started blasting "All by Myself" so loud tat I felt te floorboard vibrate . FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (3787)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML

#836792
934 comments

I agree, your life sucks (365915) - you deserved it (41138)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248355) - you deserved it (32348)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



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