About ivorydoe : I giggle at others misfortune.
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ivorydoe's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by raraisbang / 06/18/2012 at 9:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML
by missclitter / 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm / United States / Love
by Cpt Colin / 01/03/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by ksamp / 10/12/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by Oops / 09/26/2011 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…