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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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itsvivianbitch's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 3:25am / France / Money
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls." His response: "We don't." FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
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