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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (24868)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)
Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (3435)
On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (2776)
On 07/22/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by oliverP123 - United States (New York)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (79153)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1768)
On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1768)
On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1768)
On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (39259)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7045) - you deserved it (42748)
On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14092) - you deserved it (46355)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40463) - you deserved it (6545)
On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47662)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53543)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47506) - you deserved it (21371)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (44666)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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