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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (3337)
On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (1811)
On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (6050)
On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States
Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (1977)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (7041)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43315) - you deserved it (7596)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20000) - you deserved it (1310)
On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (9688)
On 07/29/2011 at 2:19am - love - by failure - United States (California)
Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (4775)
On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12803) - you deserved it (21984)
On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)
Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25074) - you deserved it (9163)
Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (25071)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (6252)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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