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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you deserved it (16713)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (10130)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8493) - you deserved it (13894)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm - work - by Brian B - United States
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (6817)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (3549)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (3957)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (46665)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (46665)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (30565)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (6250)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (31866)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (4031)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9411) - you deserved it (36950)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (12289)
On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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