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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (1924)
On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (18157)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6600) - you deserved it (22733)
On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6078) - you deserved it (43883)
On 10/01/2011 at 2:48am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (2089)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (32334)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (4798)
On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (1632)
On 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (7245)
On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42530) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (2382)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23317) - you deserved it (6428)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (1543)
On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (1902)
On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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