itouchguy360

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itouchguy360

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4315
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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itouchguy360's page activity

Visits<b>completenonsense</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:02am<b>Pieboybom</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:09am<b>xsaladsandwich</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:45am<b>Pandabae</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:45pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:20pm<b>crazydragon42</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:33am<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:30am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:05pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:02pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:34am<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:54pm<b>mostdope_alissa</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:45pm<b>ktm71125</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:56pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:53am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:31pm<b>max_grant</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:40am<b>nnnntr</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:46am<b>db32</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:29pm

itouchguy360's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

itouchguy360's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

by ugh annoying / 07/01/2011 at 3:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

by Myself / 09/06/2010 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

by nick / 01/28/2010 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

by TooTallNiCo / 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

by tjcl / 11/28/2009 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

by usmcgirl / 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

by MadSon / 10/10/2009 at 10:59pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

by 310 / 10/09/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2009 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

by WOCOACH / 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids