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itouchguy360

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itouchguy360

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3841
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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itouchguy360's page activity

Visits<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:34am<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:54pm<b>mostdope_alissa</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:45pm<b>ktm71125</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:56pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:53am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:31pm<b>max_grant</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:40am<b>nnnntr</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:46am<b>db32</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:29pm<b>gleave</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:36pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:45am<b>Virince</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:23pm<b>EmoKnife</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 8:29am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 3:28pm<b>ctuan13</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:44pm<b>andreiitafab</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:19pm<b>godspeedkills</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 9:04am<b>choco28</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 2:44pm

itouchguy360's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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itouchguy360's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (3513)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69858) - you deserved it (6570)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (7939)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

#12930514
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (15245)

On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

#7631314
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15106) - you deserved it (4679)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11495) - you deserved it (31535)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (8565)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41715) - you deserved it (1791)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

#5767098
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46502) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/10/2009 at 10:59pm - money - by MadSon - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (3566)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64544) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61768) - you deserved it (3548)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46024) - you deserved it (3880)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (7513)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38766) - you deserved it (4411)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)



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