ispt3ch

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ispt3ch

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 June 1970 (46 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 462
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About ispt3ch : One of the unluckiest people ever...until I started reading fml! Kinda like going to walmart to feel better about yourself...oh and if you were born in the 90's I have ties older than you so be careful about your "advice" to me :) chances are you might do better to listen :)

ispt3ch's page activity

Visits<b>Esels_Hintern</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:41pm<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 4:35am

ispt3ch's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

ispt3ch's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

by footfood / 06/27/2011 at 10:56am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

by jordeshting / 06/22/2011 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found it under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

by Morgan / 06/22/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

by Me / 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

by wolfpacking / 02/02/2010 at 12:51am / Transportation

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work