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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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iplayrugby18

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iplayrugby18
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2008
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iplayrugby18's favorite FMLs

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (18972) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (6017) - you deserved it (25388)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (9401) - you deserved it (826)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (21374) - you deserved it (5892)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up (after a night of drinking) in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (8513) - you deserved it (26681)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

#5652102 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (4165)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:19pm - animals - by FellingShitty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

#5651689 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (7611) - you deserved it (20454)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML

#5644801 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (25442) - you deserved it (9466)

On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (2137)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML

#5564287 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (31750) - you deserved it (2302)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:12am - health - by sick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51896) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (3628)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

#5424247 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (12026) - you deserved it (24433)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (5214)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)