intoxicant

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intoxicant

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 August 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9021
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About intoxicant : i'm grungerabbit, yeyyey [grungerabbit.com]

intoxicant's page activity

Visits<b>xaubryannax</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 2:55am<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:24pm<b>Vincenzo</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 7:42am<b>tessitada</b> - the 12/21/2009 at 1:35am<b>KaySL</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 4:19pm<b>bertiebass1</b> - the 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 9:53pm<b>Mata_Hari</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 11:34am<b>Mr_Tuff_Guy</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 3:09pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 12:15am<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 11:25pm<b>marycjones</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 4:57pm<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 4:06am<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 10:59pm<b>MiaDearden</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 10:35pm<b>idontknoww</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 8:32pm<b>Josh_Sawdo</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 12:52pm

intoxicant's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

intoxicant's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

by failatboys / 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

by lagirl / 06/09/2009 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

by vela9002 / 04/06/2009 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy