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insomnimaniak

Offline (yesterday at 7:34pm) | Search for a member

insomnimaniak

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 546
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insomnimaniak : Hello, I am not available right now.
Please leave a message after the beep.

Aka I'm too lazy to think of anything even remotely interesting right now

insomnimaniak's page activity

Visits<b>umerin</b> - 16 hours ago<b>gabix3</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:15pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:04am<b>BlueHairedChick</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:37am<b>jwgg</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Crash0997</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:06pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:30am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:15am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:13am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:28am<b>buckeye1</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 7:44pm<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 11:37am<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:53am<b>abattior</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 5:47am

insomnimaniak's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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insomnimaniak's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (5024)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53328) - you deserved it (8643)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (51070)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39969) - you deserved it (4705)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22300) - you deserved it (1517)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27697) - you deserved it (2859)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (5914)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (4036)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (5621)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43020) - you deserved it (9120)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64048) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML

#17427573
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24511) - you deserved it (6496)

On 08/10/2011 at 8:36am - love - by Username - United States



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