insomnimaniak

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Offline (the 12/20/2014 at 12:02am)

insomnimaniak

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1341
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insomnimaniak : Hello, I am not available right now.
Please leave a message after the beep.

Aka I'm too lazy to think of anything even remotely interesting right now

insomnimaniak's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 4:56am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:47pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:52pm<b>bkmr</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:46am<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:37am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:02pm<b>FMLGAWD</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:15pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 3:19am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:31pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:42am<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 10:27pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:54pm<b>godlife704</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:19am<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:59am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:32am<b>RA91</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:26pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:21pm<b>bnbhimp</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:43pm

Fucked!<b>bkmr</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:46am<b>FMLGAWD</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 6:15pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:31pm<b>RA91</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:26am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:55pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:31pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:13pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:48pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:49pm

insomnimaniak's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of insomnimaniak's badges

insomnimaniak's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

by poopydaddy / 05/03/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

by Wow. Really? / 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 5:17am / Love

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

by cheeseburglar_9000 / 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

by historyfreak_17 / 06/17/2012 at 3:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy