insomnimaniak

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Offline (the 12/20/2014 at 12:02am)

insomnimaniak

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1433
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insomnimaniak : Hello, I am not available right now.
Please leave a message after the beep.

Aka I'm too lazy to think of anything even remotely interesting right now

insomnimaniak's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 1:49pm<b>KhrysosShan</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 9:34pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 4:56am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:47pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:52pm<b>bkmr</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:46am<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:37am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:02pm<b>FMLGAWD</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:15pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 3:19am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:31pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:42am<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 10:27pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:54pm<b>godlife704</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:19am<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:59am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:32am<b>RA91</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:26pm

Fucked!<b>bkmr</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:46am<b>FMLGAWD</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 6:15pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:31pm<b>RA91</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:26am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:55pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:31pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:13pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:48pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:49pm

insomnimaniak's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of insomnimaniak's badges

insomnimaniak's favorite FMLs

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

by MotherMary / 10/12/2014 at 9:21am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

by Disappointed / 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm / Health

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

by some band player / 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

by onyx_the_cat / 02/13/2014 at 10:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work