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insomnimaniak

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insomnimaniak

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 541
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insomnimaniak : Hello, I am not available right now.
Please leave a message after the beep.

Aka I'm too lazy to think of anything even remotely interesting right now

insomnimaniak's page activity

Visits<b>gabix3</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:15pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:04am<b>BlueHairedChick</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:37am<b>jwgg</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Crash0997</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:06pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:30am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:15am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:13am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:28am<b>buckeye1</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 7:44pm<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 11:37am<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:53am<b>abattior</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 5:47am<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:54am

insomnimaniak's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of insomnimaniak's badges

insomnimaniak's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (4505)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42388) - you deserved it (5212)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (7747)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (7421)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49108) - you deserved it (5599)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38416) - you deserved it (4197)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50482) - you deserved it (8008)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48132) - you deserved it (8026)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55031) - you deserved it (4278)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48356) - you deserved it (5166)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51686) - you deserved it (3537)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72948) - you deserved it (10021)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75023) - you deserved it (9082)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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