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insanemistress

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insanemistress
  • Town/Country : Frestown, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 474
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About insanemistress : Im a nerd. And I'm 6" taller than Charles Manson.

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insanemistress's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

insanemistress's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

#6629072
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8360) - you deserved it (25895)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by Delicious (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (1692)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (69768)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33126) - you deserved it (3095)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (12808)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (2837)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (8345)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329233) - you deserved it (35705)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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