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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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indigoblues's favorite FMLs
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by oh my son / 12/23/2012 at 1:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Insane Guy / 12/21/2012 at 1:47am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML
by igiveup / 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm / Spain (Canarias) / Animals
by Crusty / 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm / Health
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML
by rightinthekarma / 12/19/2012 at 10:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
by unknown / 12/17/2012 at 6:37am / Canada / Kids