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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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indigoblues's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML
by Darkandcold / 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by EffUrEll / 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by gassy / 01/07/2013 at 10:40am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
by kat124ever / 01/07/2013 at 3:35am / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML
by Dkim620 / 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm / United States / Love
by Twiggysucks68 / 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML
by Pennepestoem / 01/05/2013 at 2:07pm / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation
- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made… Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going… Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had…