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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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indigoblues's favorite FMLs
Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML
by creepedasfuck / 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML
by whatisthisidonteven / 09/23/2012 at 5:23am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Work
by StupidBerk / 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by lonely one / 09/14/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
by Sprtsgeek13 / 09/13/2012 at 8:37am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by darawbs / 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
by me / 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm / United States / Work
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by ifailsobadly / 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
by Junktown / 07/07/2011 at 10:40am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2010 at 1:22am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, I walked into a mirror in a shop. No one would have known had my face not stayed printed on…