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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22448) - you deserved it (1024)
On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -
Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (1692)
On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (1737)
On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (3097)
On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)
Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20421) - you deserved it (1505)
On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (8107)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15873) - you deserved it (1370)
On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15799) - you deserved it (1744)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12725) - you deserved it (2208)
On 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (1046)
On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16452) - you deserved it (1374)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26631) - you deserved it (3198)
On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (1250)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by darawbs - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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