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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (2059)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15602) - you deserved it (1529)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13125) - you deserved it (1778)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)
Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (26064)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16414) - you deserved it (898)
On 10/12/2012 at 8:18pm - misc - by atleastshelldiefirst (man) - United States
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (1379)
On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13691) - you deserved it (2137)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16791) - you deserved it (1365)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16791) - you deserved it (1365)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27710) - you deserved it (1592)
On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62976) - you deserved it (6331)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62976) - you deserved it (6331)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (7934)
On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9549) - you deserved it (15862)
On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (1601)
On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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