Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

incognitogirl

Offline (yesterday at 6:10am) | Search for a member

incognitogirl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1465
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About incognitogirl : Description? Hmm I could say anything and you'd believe me. I'm a potato.
.
.
.

See what I did there?

incognitogirl's page activity

Visits<b>Faposaurus</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:45pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:32am<b>German_97</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:54pm<b>lickastick</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:05pm<b>jesse480</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 10:32pm<b>thestrangedude</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Dogfoodlid</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:24am<b>alison98hp</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:52am<b>ronak</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:07am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:28pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 10:19am<b>RefrigeratorLord</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 3:00pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:00pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:08pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:43am<b>truesarrif</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:39pm<b>jw90</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 2:25am<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:51pm

incognitogirl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of incognitogirl's badges

incognitogirl's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

#21332081
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Discouraged (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML

#21326703
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (2545)

On 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by happytuckerhappy (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML

#21325203
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33620) - you deserved it (3559)

On 12/27/2014 at 9:55am - love - by SupposedlyAverage (woman) - United States

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

#21322036
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (22973)

On 12/22/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32480) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35116) - you deserved it (6738)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

#21313670
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (4671)

On 12/08/2014 at 9:12am - love - by lovethateuropeanblood (woman) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

#21312632
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (3348)

On 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by fistycunt4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38340) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32710) - you deserved it (2625)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (3047)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (2288)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (4024)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36018) - you deserved it (6537)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: