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imortal20

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imortal20

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 990
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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imortal20's page activity

Visits<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:10pm<b>ijustgiveup</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:00am<b>ManlyGoldfish</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:42am<b>xRake</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:11pm<b>aria78</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 9:46am<b>SubmersedFool</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:41pm

imortal20's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

imortal20's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8475) - you deserved it (38387)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11719) - you deserved it (28353)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18565) - you deserved it (5265)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8773) - you deserved it (32314)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12447) - you deserved it (47644)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (2267)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37444) - you deserved it (5619)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47552) - you deserved it (2957)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (2000)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (5393)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52753) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

#5464922
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11201) - you deserved it (41615)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (7363)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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